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Don’t underestimate the old foxes in BJP

My caption for the picture would be – L. K. Advani and Shatrughan Sinha in happier and younger times.

It is sad to see L. K. #Advani being forced out of a party he has nurtured from its Jan Sangh days. It was Advani who supported #Namo Narendra Modi and even made him the Chief Minister of Gujarat. Modi remained committed to him as a loyalist till the Jinnah controversy. The controversy ended, but Modi cleverly took the opportunity to walk away ‘over an issue that was a non-issue’.
He parted as he knew that he’d never be able to grow ‘under a large banyan tree’. Advani’s undoing has been his ambition to become the Prime Minister. It wasn’t possible during the days of Atal Behari Vajpayee, when it was touted that he had an image of a hardliner, unacceptable to all the parties. This was obviously a face-saver since he was very much acceptable as number two. He was even acceptable as de facto Prime Minister!
The coming few days will show whether Modi is acceptable to all or this causes a vertical split.
Don’t underestimate the old foxes in the BJP. Advani is not alone. From Yashwant Sinha to Shatrughan Sinha… he has many friends in the party.
http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/NewDelhi/Angry-Advani-shoots-off-resignation-letter-BJP-in-crisis-after-Modi-s-promotion/Article1-1073929.aspx

Not as proud of Madhubala as Americans are of Marilyn Monroe?

The sense of pride, which Americans have for things American, and more importantly, for the icons of their country, is amazing.
On a recent trip to the US, I saw the framed posters of famous comic characters Popeye, Archie and Superman besides Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, Abraham Lincoln, The Rolling Stones, Beatles, and the Statue of Liberty on the walls of several cafes.
I have never seen pics Indian icons – like Mohd. Rafi or Tansen, Sant Kabir or Tukaram, Chhatrapati Shivaji or Babasaheb Ambedkar, Madhubala, Tagore, Satyajit Ray or for that matter Raj Kapoor in the poster of Aawara – on the walls of restaurants and cafes.
Maybe, because we don’t have any reason to be proud of our icons with their notorious feet of clay?
The national anthem is played in cinema houses only because it is mandatory, and you can see some people standing outside, waiting for it to be over, to avoid rising from their seats.
Even the legend – Mera Desh Mahaan – found behind the trucks is there because it is mandatory, and often comes with a prefix: Sau mein nabbey beimaan phir bhi...
Is it partly because India has been ruled by outsiders – and Indians didn’t feel disloyal cheating on the rulers? Evasion of taxes or shirking work was considered alright, even a silent dissent. Why else was the civil disobedience movement of Gandhiji so successful?

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The book of Scandals

I wish someone would do a book on a century of scandals and scams in India.
It can begin with the love child of the first Indian Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru and Tabtrik woman Shardha Mata and may even have stories that link Motilal Nehru with Jaddanbai’s mother (I think Duleepa Bai) and Jaddanbai’s union leader brother’s claims that he was Jawaharlal Nehru’s half brother!
The firstever scam in a free India – was it Mundhra scandal or Jeeps scam? – can figure in it.
It can have stories of how Devika Rani eloped with her English lover, how Kamini Kaushal’s husband chased Dilip Kumar with a gun for seducing his wife, an all correct Shobhna Samrath (Kajol’s grand mother with a Sita like image) and her relationship with Motilal and innuendo about Nutan being his daughter…
to
a politically correct Aamir Khan’s love child…
Salman Khan’s midnight knocks on the doors of Aishwarya Rai, telephonic abuses and physical assaults on her…
How Priyanka Chopra has almost broken the marriage of Shah Rukh Khan…
Why Sanjay Dutt couldn’t marry Tina Munin and Madhuri Dixit and instead ended up with Maanyata…
The scams involving Vadra, the Prime Minister, 2G, Coalgate, Radia tapes scam that muddied the names of Barkha Dutt and Vir Sanghavi…
I am one of the very few who can do it. I have had my ears to the ground.
I’d do it if I wasn’t alteady working on my next novel 🙂

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That Imran Khan won from the areas that were considered strongholds of Taliban should have been enough for the red light to appear but our connections-obsesed celebrities didn’t give a damn. They were thrilled to find their ‘friend’ Imran Khan strengthening his hold in Pakistan and welcomed it.
Now, his man nominated Chief Minister of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Pakistan, Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf’s Pervaiz Khattak has openly invited Taliban for peace talk and said they should also play their role to ensure peace in the province.
He has said that they do not feel any hostility with Taliban and are ready for talks with them.

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As if one was not enough…

“Look Pandurang, don’t you how I am? How dare you…you motherfucker, bhaanchod…bastard…Mere ko rokte ho? Mere ko?…Main tere ko dekh loonga…” the dialogue may come from some MLA, drunk on power or a film star high on alcohol and drugs…
What should the policeman / security guy do?
Swallow his pride along with the paan and apologize, “Saab, I’m sorry…my eye sight is bad. I didn’t see who I was talking to…arre saab, hum kaun hote hain aapko rokne walle…” and should vent his frustration on the nobodies (that is the taxpaying citizens), his family, neighbours, friends, colleagues….
This is the lesson (!) you learn from…
The CCTV clippings of the MLAs bashing up the traffic cop in assembly has not been made available to police and the House committee set up to probe the thrashing of a police officer by a group of legislators in the assembly premises has recommended departmental inquiry against the traffic sub-inspector Sachin Suryavanshi and revocation of suspension of three of the five MLAs.
In another similar case, the security guard who took panga with Shah Rukh Khan has been asked to go on leave today as SRK will be at Wankhede today.
Maharashtra Congress unit has asked MCA allow SRK to attend IPL game at Wankhede today. Everyone knows that SRK is close to Gandhis!
And while on the topic, I must note that SRK has been manipulative from day one!
He stole the show from under the very nose of Sunny Deol, a simple jaat, in Darr. Sunny could never forgive Yash Chopra for the betrayal. But Chopra and SRK became buddies for life. SRK did the very same thing to Akshay Kumar in Dil To Paagal Hai and to Salman Khan in Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge.
Akshay is manipulative in his own ways. He has sat with the directors on editing tables and got the scenes of a simple Simon Suneil Shetty and no-nonsense Ajay Devgn chopped off. Neither works with him now.
Now that, both, SRK and Akshay have common enemies in Salman and Ajay, they are ganging up. They are planning a film together.
As if one was not enough…

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R R Patil – The Height of Arrogance

The height of arrogance. If the Deputy CM of Maharashtra offers urine to the drought hit farmers – even his apology was not visible on his arrogant face – another NCP minister seems as haughty…
R R Patil, the Home Minister wants his car (state-owned and with lal batti) directly reach the aircarfts! No frisking, and of course no walking on the tarmac for any minister (Sushil Kumar Shinde is driven in airport car up to the aircraft) unless it is during ‘once in five years begging for the votes’ and no security checks!
This is ridiculous in a State where the former Home Ministers, belonging to the same NCP with home he shares the surname – Padamsingh Patil – is charged with murder! Patil was produced in a judicial court in Panvel yesterday and has been remanded to CBI custody till June 14.
The CBI have in their possession confession of an accused in the case against Patil. As always happens in case of VIPs charged with serious crimes, besides denials, the defence also is raising the issue of the health of the minister.

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Saw ‘Bombay Talkies’.
Bollywood folks are notorious for sneaking in their agenda whenever they have an opportunity and taking the industry colleagues for a jolly ride.
Celebration of 100 years provided this opportunity to Karan Johar and company.
Here is the official agenda: to glorify the magic of films.
Here is the unstated agenda:
1. To project gay angst. Karan’s film.
2. To curry favours with Katrina Kaif. For this Zoya Akhtar has blatantly glorified Katrina as an inspiring symbol, an angel and messenger for the children. Yeh alag baat hai ke the message is the same old one: follow your dream.
3. To pacify and glorify Amitabh Bachchan. Nothing wrong with it except that it is Anurag Kashyap doing it. He had a public spat with Bachchan and won over the Bachchan with this eulogy. Ye alag baat hai ke the writer of the original story has dragged him to court for stealing his story.
4. To cut down Salman Khan, Kajol and Ajay Devgn to size by not including them in the title song and by avoiding any mention of the three. This way Karan Johar is currying favours with Shah Rukh Khan who hates the ground Salman and Ajay walk. Kajal, though might have opted out to show her support for husband Ajay Devgn.
5. Now that Bal Thackeray is no more, to quietly bring Bombay back in the vocabulary.
6. To rename Bollywood (which appears mocking the 100 year old industry) Bombay Talkies. I had once suggested replacing this silly name with Bombay. But industry folks were scared. I suggested Bombay as Hollywoodland was the name of the city where they started making movies. The film industry there was named Hollywood. Here the Bombay film industry had been named Bollywood, Bengali as Tollywood ( ref: Tollygung), Madras industry as Mollywood and Lahore industry as Lollywood. It is as if wood = films.
But Bollywood has stuck and it’d be difficult to rename it…

As for the 4 story-movie, the only story worth watching is Dibakar Bannerjee’s. You can skip the rest.

Madhubala Moment

One moment, one decision changes an entire life…
As I sit back, with The Five Foolish Virgins in press, I look back and recognize the moment I decided to write books. I call it Madhubala moment. It had to do with Nari (Magna) Hira’s decision to start Magna Books. Having had spent over 15 years, I had got bored with freelance journalism. I wanted a challenge.
I sent a one line fax to Hira: Would you be interest in a biography of Madhubala as your first book?
I was doing a Henry Miller. Henry Miller had written a book on the life of Marilyn Monroe. Monroe had died young. She had, among her lovers, John F Kennedy the handsome President of United States. Madhubala too had died young. Among the men who wooed her was Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, who had become the Prime Minister of Pakistan for four years.
Hira didn’t waste time in accepting the offer. And my first book – rather the first unauthorized Bollywood biography in India – was born. All hell broke loose when the book came out. I had written extensively about her love life, her secret ailment and the beautiful person that Madhubala was. Her sister challenged my version and I could give her a fitting reply. She wrote (in Mid-day) that they were Khans and I had called them Dehlavis. I had started my research, interviews and investigation from the mazaar of Madhubala, and knowing Urdu had reproduced her complete name from the inscription in stone on her mazaar: Mumtaz Jahan Begum Dehlavi!

I wrote that, “It didn’t really matter whether she was Dehlavi or Khan…She had carved a place for herself as Madhubala…and her family should call themselves Madhubalavi with pride.”
Controversies followed ‘Simply Scandalous: Meena Kumari’ and ‘Eurekha’ too.
After ‘Eurekha’ hit the stands and Rekha started helplessly pulling her hair, distancing herself from the person I said she was, I wrote an open letter to Rekha, challenging her to sue me if I was wrong. She didn’t. Every skeleton from her life – every man in her life (from Kiran Kumar to Amitabh Bachchan and of course both her marriages (please note the plural) and her relationship with her secretary – figured in the biography.
My ‘Nehru and the Tantrik Woman’ faced censor trouble. Set in the dark days of emergency period, this was a historical-fictional play about the illegitimate child of Jawaharlal Nehru. Nehru’s child was the reality, and the story about his search was fiction. Maharashtra State has a censor board for plays. You can’t stage a play without this certificate. They decline to issue a certificate. I persisted. They organized a meeting at Pune. I took a 25 kg box of notes, books and photo-copies to show my research. They admired my efforts but didn’t read any document. Their argument was simple, “Okay, it is true. We are not disputing it. We can’t allow you to stage it as it can cause law and order problem.”
Further argument was unnecessary.
I was disgusted. My disgust remains. This is why, I have written a novel. Pure fiction. Total fiction. Any resemblance to person or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

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Why did Madhuri Dixit marry a non-filmy guy?

I’d chuckled when Madhuri Dixit had married Dr Sriram Nene! We were told that the daaktar didn’t even know who Madhuri was! Having known the daughter of a Marathi Brahimin family over the years I could guess her concerns.
Stardust and Cine Blitz had written extensively about Madhuri’s love affair with Sanjay Dutt. When Sanju was arrested under TADA, Madhuri disassociated herself from him and I had been the first one to quote her. I could understand the desire of the middle class, respectable and law abiding girl to distance herself from the Naayak who had turned out to be a Khalnaayak.
Earlier, magazines had romantically linked her with Aamir Khan too. There would be other reported liaisons too – some true and some not so true!
Continue reading “Why did Madhuri Dixit marry a non-filmy guy?”

Cyrus Broacha, Jayalalithaa and Katju

Jayalalithaa Jayaram, the Chief Minister of Tamilnadu has sued Cyrus Broacha.
I am really surprised that Cyrus Broacha, who has written 3759 humour pieces, done 2314 stand-up shows and has spoofed all the politicians in the country including Jayalalithaa didn’t know that the politicians today don’t have a sense of humor. They can abuse, shout, burp, talk (with or without topic), digress, fart, threaten, assault, rape, murder, make promises, make tall promises, accept bribes…But they can’t laugh at themselves. He stupidly thought that she would laugh at his jokes. Or perhaps, he thought she doesn’t know English! Or may be Cyrus believed that, like his book (I forget the name), his show CNN’s IBN’s ‘The Week that wasn’t’ too isn’t!
But his ‘The Week that wasn’t’ is. Continue reading “Cyrus Broacha, Jayalalithaa and Katju”

Back in the market with my new novel

Here is the first look at the Virgins!

After a sabbatical of a decade, my new novel ‘The Five Foolish Virgins’, has again brought me in the market…
Continue reading “Back in the market with my new novel”

Why does Sanjay Nirupam (and everyone else) look down at actresses?

Smriti Irani made much ado about NOT playing a nautch girl in one of the serials of Ekta Kapoor and insisted on doing another sober character! This news was flashed in papers too.
This was obviously because of Congress MP Sanjay Nirupam’s crack about her in a TV debate. In the charged atmosphere, with parliamentary elections in 2014 and everyone (including women’s organizations) wanting his share of attention Sanjay’s remark blew into a controversy. Continue reading “Why does Sanjay Nirupam (and everyone else) look down at actresses?”